Work in Progress

"assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness."

Ephesians 4:21‭-‬24

I used to think of intentional silence as punishment.
Actually, if we're being honest, I still do. It's a work in progress.
However I'm learning to trust God and know that certain people leaving my life whether for periods of time or for good may be just what I need to tune out outside noise and to lean heavily on Him.
Although my transition period has helped me to unpack that quite a bit, and now I know it's more of a boundary issue, I still think it's a shock to my system when people who know I feel that way do it to me. I definitely still count the days but with each passing one it gets a little easier and I'm a step closer to being in a better place. Reminding myself that people will do what they want to and that life must go on has been a help though.

I used to (unknowingly) think of myself as a fixer.
Actually, if we're being honest, I still do. It's a work in progress.
I'm actively unlearning this and learning to support my people through whatever they're going through rather than wanting to fix everything and make it better when I think it should be. I couldn't do it even if I tried hard. This and knowing that ultimately they need to go to God who knows all things and can fix all things. They need to turn to the creator and protector of the universe.

I used to be obsessed with planning every day and every activity.
Actually, if we're being honest, I still am. It's a work in progress.
I'm learning to take life as it comes, curve balls and all. To leave room for plans to fail and for life to surprise me. I'm less stressed when things don't go exactly as I planned them and I'm definitely more pleasantly surprised now when spontaneous things go wonderfully. All of this to say I'm handing things over to God more and taking the weight off myself. He has the whole world in His hands and comfortably bares it so that we don't have to. I still make plans, I just know that when I commit them to Him, I can trust that whatever happens, it's going according to His plans.

I used to be so poor at reinforcing boundaries.
Actually, if we're being honest, I'm not the greatest at it now but I'm better. It's a work in progress. I'm aware of it now and that definitely changed the game. Being enlightened solved half the problem and the other half I gave to God. Because I firmly believe that boundaries are Biblical and that the author of all Biblical truths is the best person to help me discern, establish and reinforce whatever boundaries I need to have. I no longer have to suffer or continually heal from hurts that didn't need to be there in the first place if I had just set a boundary. And I'm so much happier for it.

I used to be so terrible at regulating my emotions.
Actually, if we're being honest, I'm still not 100% there. It's a work in progress. I'm convinced that's why I used to cry at everything. When I was excited, touched, sad, hurt or angry I would cry. Learning to pin point and name my emotions has given me so much more power over them and in most situations I'm a lot better at it. I also realise that God made me an empath and that means I feel other people's emotions quite deeply so that I can literally place myself in their shoes and help them. Now rather than letting this weigh me down like it used to, I simply take all the different emotions to the Creator and cast my burdens onto Him for He cares for me. After all, He walked this earth like we do and experienced emotions just like us. So who better to help me sift through it all that Him?

All this to say, I'm still learning.
Halfway through the year till my thirtieth birthday and I know that although there's so much work I have done up till this point, there's lots more to do.
I'm a work I'm progress.
God's still working on me.😊

Bisous 

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