Heart Work

Hi lovelies! 

Transition periods for me always trigger periods of self reflection. I think it's the feeling of being in limbo or maybe it's because I finally slow down enough to take everything in and think. I'm an overthinker by nature but there's something about getting time to stop and think that allows me to take it a step further into heart work.

No one tells you how chaotic heart work can be.
How real self love is hours of self examination, learning, unlearning and growing into a better version of yourself. Even when you thought you were a good (enough) person and that you've achieved what you'd set out to do in that season. How you'll have to turn your world upside down before putting it right side up again.

On Learning and Unlearning...

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." ESV

You think you've done all the (physical) growing that you do when you become an adult and life laughs in your face. 😩 There are a few things in life that are constant and growth is definitely one of them.

I'm one of those people that has always been excited about growth. Growing taller, growing older, growing wiser and definitely growing spiritually. But no one seems to prepare you for emotional growth. The kind of growth that comes with growing pains like you wouldn't believe. Growth that causes you to go through a period of learning and unlearning. Choosing exactly who it is you want to be and realising that you need to grow on your own, but also that you have to grow with the various relationships in your life. And boy is that a tough one, especially if you're keen on growth while the people around you are set on staying in the same place. Or, if you think you've grown enough in a certain place and then you're placed in a situation where you realise that's definitely not the case.🤦🏾‍♀️

An Attitude of Gratitude...

"Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul"
- Henry Ward Beecher

I posted the picture above on my Instagram at the beginning of the year and asked my followers a question: "what is your word for the year?"

As you can obviously guess from the title, mine is gratitude. And while it may seem like a relatively easy one I can tell you now it definitely isn't, especially in a social climate like the one we're living in right now.

I'm not exactly sure when it happened but I stopped writing down resolutions for the year.🤔 Not cause I was boycotting them or anything, but just cause by the time the end of the first quarter came round most of those resolutions had been broken or done away with. And that was quite disheartening. So instead, I decided to go with a theme or a phrase that would help direct my year and encourage me to apply it to all the things that I attempted or went through in the process of it. And I can tell you now that it's definitely changed how I live. 😄

Its the year Two Thousand and Nineteen

Happy New Year!

The other day as it struck midnight and all the fireworks went off signifying the star of the new year, I sat on the couch watching and reflecting.
You know, like a normal ambivert (I'm not going to argue it, I said what I said) would.
Asking myself questions like:

How was it already 2019?
Where had the time flown?
What lessons had I learnt from 2018?
And what did the new year have in store?

So many questions with just enough silence and all the time in the world to think through them.
Fast forward to today, we are a week into the year and I'm finally ready to sit down and put those thoughts into words on your screen. It's been a while since we had one of these heart to hearts and while I post the Taking Stock series every chance I get (I promise those are coming back), there's truly nothing like a good old fashioned deep meaningful conversation (or post in this case).

Chicken pox Woes and other stories.

Yes you read right, I caught chicken pox.

At my big age 😂

And yes it caught me totally by surprise, despite being a medical student and all of that.🙎

So lemme tell you how it happened.

A couple of weeks ago I got excited when I saw a pawpaw (or Papaya for the rest of you in the western world 😉) in Food Lovers market and had to have it. I also picked up a bag of locally grown Zambian coffee and headed out. The next morning guess who had pawpaw for breakfast? This girl! Note that it wasn't fully ripe but since when has something like that stopped me?😅 Fast forward to nine pm that night and guess who had an "allergic reaction"? This same girl 😂 tjo guys, was I not worried that I would become ugly?!😩 You should've seen me panic when I realised I didn't have my allergy pills (everyone with a ton of allergies has them, if you know you know), I then proceeded to wake up my mum and bother my sisters for antihistamine cream.

Fortunately I found some, lathered that stuff on like lotion and BAM! Crisis averted.💪😄

Or so I thought.😂

Out of Christ

Happy Sunday!😁

I know I've been gone for a hot minute 😫 (on YouTube too🙈), but the hiatus was definitely needed. It helped me gain perspective, learn a few truths and adjust my mindset. It also reminded me why I love to write and share my stories in the first place.

A little while ago during a very interesting interrogation 😂 (inside joke) I was asked what my favourite hymn was. Being someone who doesn't like to be put on the spot😩, I asked my questioner to tell me theirs and why that was their particular one.
I've never been so appreciative of someone sharing something like that with me, (maybe one day I'll get them to share) and I don't think I'll ever forget it. So much so that it made me comfortable enough to open up and talk about mine.

Yes, contrary to popular belief I'm not completely extroverted. 😭 I actually have quite introverted tendencies, especially when it comes to talking about myself.

But that's a story for another day.😅

Taking Stock: Summer Rain 2018

Bc it's been way too long since I did one of these and I love how I can get you up to speed real quick with them. Here we go:

Making: So much progress with my studying. I actually posted a video on my YouTube channel about how to study effectively this week.

Cooking/Baking: Banana pancakes and dessert french toast bc breakfast foods are my absolute favourites! Recipe anyone?

Drinking: Water (as per usual) and Loads of coffee bc it's that time again. 

Craving: I was craving donuts this morning but then I stuffed my face with them and I don't think I'll be doing that again in the next few days😷 (maybe in two😅)

Reading:  Praying For your future husband by Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer
Born a crime by Trevor Noah
(Send me a message if you'd like me to send you any of them)

Note to Self: Intimacy with God

Happy Thursday!

I know what you're thinking. Ït's been forever since she sat and wrote something properly on here." And I agree. There's nothing I can say or do that would help you understand just how much I needed the little impromptu hiatus(es) I've been taking over the year, so I won't even get into that. I did miss you though 😉

For those of you who stayed loyal, and kept checking on me every once in a while: I'm ever so grateful! And I see each and every one of you! 👀😍😘

So for you, especially for you, here's a little something I wrote:

There's a special place I'm striving to get to, something I've been learning about for a while.
Come with me as I endeavor to illustrate it with my words.
Or at the very least try to make you smile.😏

Bisous!

x

P.S I've got a fun vlog for yáll coming out soon 😁

Single in a world full of relationships

Other person: "So how's your boyfriend?"
Me: "Lol what boyfriend?"
Them: "The man in your life..."
Me: "Oh, no. I don't have one of those, I'm very single."
Them: "Why are you still single?" 😕
Me: 😂 Am I not allowed to be?

I cannot tell you how many times I have this conversation. Well, not those exact words but you get the gist right? #FunTimes

Feminists : The thing about females

There's this thing about females, that I'm not sure they see.

How they can bless you with a smile,

Or leave you with a frown. 

There's this thing about females, this power that they have.

They can build up whole cities,

Or tear them down.

See the thing about females, that I don't understand.

Is why sometimes they choose to be thorns in your side, 

Instead of jewels in your crown.

Why can't we lay bricks, and build up each other's castles? 

Instead of causing and building up walls of pain.

Why can't we speak to each other's faces in love?

Instead of driving each other insane.

Why can't we help establish each other's empires?

See there's more we have to gain.

We need to do better. Be better. Improve.

We need to be feminists.

And then, then the whole world will move. 

(Inspired by Chimwemwe Sakanjole)

For women's month.

Dates with Him 😍

It's in the quiet times.

The times when everything around me is still.

The times when the silence is so loud, when life has had it's fill.

That's when He reaches out and touches me.

To let me know that He's still there.

That He's always watching and He'll always care.

That we can just sit and have a conversation.

About everything and nothing.

That we can chat for hours on end and He can tell me something.

Something I may not have heard in the loudness, or in the rush.

Something I may have been asking/searching/waiting for, He just wanted me to hush.

See He's not the type to shout out loud, or to push and shove.

He's such a gentleman and does everything with love.

So in those quiet times, when I can finally listen clear.

I have dates with God, and he tells me all I need to hear.

💗

How to : Apple Crumble

On Christmas Eve my sisters decided to go for a photo shoot.

I say my sisters because no one told me beforehand that this was happening.😒 And if any one knows me, I do not work well with last minute plans. Not at all. I probably won't (be able to) show up. And that day was no exception. Not because I was being difficult or didn't want to go, I really do make the effort for close friends and family, but because my older sister always has a theme for everything and I had nothing clean to wear in her scheme. That said, their pictures turned out pretty amazing, as you can see for yourself. So there is no salt to be found here. *sits pretty*😇

Thinking Out Loud #2 : Love

Happy Thursday!!
And a happy last month of the year.

Source

So the topic of love has been on my mind and on my heart for a while now.

How to show it.
Who to show it to.
What love is.
Self love....etc

Thursdays are for Thinking Out Loud

Happy Throwback Thursday!!

I've been away a while, it's been one of those months.
You know, those ones where you barely have time for anything.
The ones that move so quick you barely have time to breathe.
The ones where you're going from day to day with a "help me get through today" prayer?
The ones where you're counting down till you get a break? Three weeks I see you!
YES....Those Ones.

Can we just give it up to God for getting us through? Wont He do it?!
Cause 2016 has been something, am I right? 2017 come throuuuuuuuuuugh!!

So today's just gonna be about Thinking Out Loud.

I came across this on one of my favourite blogs: Running With Spoons. And I just knew I had to get into it. For those days when I don't have a structured enough something to share, even thought those draft posts are piling up. *covers face* Or those days when I just want to share the organised chaos that is me.

Feature Fridays: Life Changing Mission Experiences; Every Nation Botswana Mission 2016

By: Grace Nonde

So my best friend Mwaba asked me: “What would you say was the difference between the Kenya Mission trip you went on last year and the Botswana Mission trip this year?” 
My answer: “I was able to hear God’s voice much more clearly this time around.”

Let’s rewind a little…
     Last year I went on my first International Mission trip to Kenya. The destination was Kenyatta University in Kahawa-Sukari, Nairobi. 
The way this happened was all God ordained. But that is a whole other story of miracles on it's own and you can contact me if you would like to know more. However, long story short is that  during the Kenya Mission trip last year I encountered God in a way I had never before. The supernatural was so real during the entire week we were there. We got to see many salvations, miracles such as blind eyes opened, spiritually orphaned children returned to their Heavenly Father and a definite change in the atmosphere of Kenyatta University where many Bible Study/Connect groups have been started to incorporate the students we reached out during our time there. 
Matthew 28:19- “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit…”

Feature Fridays:To grandma, with love.

By Chimwemwe Sakanjole.

Almost a year ago today(Oct/Nov 2015), I wrote my final 4th year exams📚. Within two weeks of being back home, I got my first paid job which started at the beginning of December. It was at a company I said I'd work for one day (power of the tongue)...

A few weeks later after I began, I got news that I would be graduating from uni with an Upper Second (i.e 2nd from distinction) Economics Honors Degree all by the grace of God 🙏🏽.
And merely two months into my new job, I got another job offer from a different company, one that I am currently working for.

God has been so good to me... 

Taking Stock; Spring 2016

Happy Sunday!!

This is the part where we pretend I wasn't awol for a month and skip right back into loving each other. Yes? Sounds like a plan *cheesing* 

I'm sorry I was away. *covers face* Remember that time I was excited about med school? Well......that happened. *insert dancing emoji* So I'm out here trying to live my best life and stay afloat. Thank you for being so patient with me while I settled. I promise I've got it together now *winks*

Anywho...it's that time of the year again!! (well technically this was meant for last month but pshhh, we'll pretend you didn't notice) Did you sit down and do yours?

That New New thing

Happy FriYay!!

And a happy new month to all of you! *insert heart eyed emoji here*

There are so many reasons I'm excited about this new month. I've been waiting for it all year for starters, and there are so many things going on that I'll get to sharing with you soon. I just felt that i should share with you my excitement about this New month. Have I said New enough times now?  No? Good, cause I was just getting started. Haha!

Come on now! Those words are true and faithful! In the same way that the coming of the New Jerusalem is spoken about, I feel like God is starting something New in my life. And mannnn, does it feel awesome!

Yessssssssssssss!

Are you bearing fruit?

Happy Hump day!!

My devotion this morning said:

"What side are you on? That is the question Jesus is asking in Luke 13:1-8. Are you on the side of right or wrong? The right side leads to eternal life, while the wrong side leads to destruction. Jesus' message is simple: all you have to do is repent of your sins in order to have new life. If you don't repent, then you will perish. God does not desire to cut us down, but rather He loves us and desires us to bear fruit. What fruit are you bearing in your life currently? What sins do you need to repent of in order to start bearing the kind of fruit God desires?"

I absolutely loved it. It embodied the three S's: Short, Sweet and Straight-to-the-point.😄
See the last couple of weeks in various discussions with a friend of mine(with the aid of devotions, a couple of powerful sermons and searching scripture) I've been seriously thinking about the Christian life. It's not enough to just proclaim your Faith 🙅 No no no! You need to bear fruit. How are you going to claim to be following the Lord and growing in your walk when there are no fruits to show for it? Are you really growing? Just as the trees grow and eventually begin to bear fruit, so too should we be in our walk with God. 

Note to self

Have you ever asked someone how they are and been convicted by their answer? 🙆😯🙊
Sometimes we need to deviate from the norm of answering things like "fine/okay/good/great".
Sometimes we need to be real and proclaim the goodness of God in our lives 😍, we need to testify about His grace that is more than sufficient for us.
A conversation I had recently with a friend changed my perspective totally. So much so that I shared it with my mom and my best friends.